if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
