So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
