i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
