ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize