My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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