Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
