I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
