so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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