I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize