it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
