I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
