Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize