"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
