i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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