He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
