How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
