we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize