Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I could make wine with my vomit
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
