That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
