I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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