the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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