I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize