His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
