You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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