i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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