so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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