And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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