He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
