Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
only you would photoshop your dick
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
