I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
