My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
