i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
