Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
