I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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