just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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