I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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