blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We are two peas in an std pod
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
