I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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