Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
organizing the empties. That sober.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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