you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
