Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
