I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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