Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
