Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
