Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
