are you still at the devil's house?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
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He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
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Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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