Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
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he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell