I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
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So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
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I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.