idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.