I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
