Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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