actually, I'm a sock model
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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