I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
