I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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