I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
