I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
