I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
