I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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