i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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