I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Come on in and take your pants off
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