i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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