my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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