Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
